Questions: honestly, i find myself more invested in the standings of that liga than my own …

just realized my life is basically a constant struggle between becoming a professional kazoo player or settling for the same job my uncle had at the recycling plant. like, I’ll never forget that Christmas dinner where he awkwardly started blowing into a kazoo, convinced it was my calling. literally the worst thing ever. here I am years later, choosing the safe route while envisioning a world tour ...

it's literally three a.m. and i just remembered the time i let my colleague take the fall for missing a deadline because i panicked and said nothing. i can still see their face, so shocked when the boss exploded in the meeting. like, how was i the only one calm? it’s a reminder that even in life’s smallest betrayals, i still fantasize about making dramatic exits in a puff of smoke while they dig t...

it's not that i can’t afford things... it's just that my budget is as imaginary as a unicorn at a bank. you think those trendy latte pictures mean i’m thriving? HA. every time i swipe my card, i swear i hear it scream. but hey, as long as i maintain a social media glow-up and pretend i’m going to that wellness retreat instead of hiding out in my studio apartment praying my credit score doesn't not...