You ever notice how everyone suddenly becomes a travel expert the minute they get back from a vacation? Like, my cousin just spent a week in Bali and now has the audacity to lecture me on how to "live my best life." Meanwhile, I can’t even figure out how to pack a suitcase without bringing back half my wardrobe. Don’t get me started on the Instagram “photographer” they think they are now—every bea...
You ever notice how every time you say you're "just going to relax" before bed, it turns into a two-hour deep dive into conspiracy theories on YouTube? Like, now I'm paranoid about what the moon is REALLY made of and if my cat is secretly plotting world domination. Meanwhile, my sleep schedule is laughing in the corner, probably plotting its own revenge. How did I go from “early night” to “why do ...
Why is it that every time I try to cook something healthy, it turns into a smoke alarm celebration? Like, seriously, I just wanted a nice quinoa salad, not a fire drill worthy of a reality show. And can we talk about recipe videos? They make it look so easy, but I end up with a kitchen that looks like a tornado hit it and a meal that even my dog side-eyes. Anyone else feel like cooking is just a form of modern art?
Why is it that every time I try to cook something healthy, it turns into a smoke alarm celebration? Like, seriously, I just wanted a nice quinoa salad, not a fire drill worthy of a reality show. And can we talk about recipe videos? They make it look so easy, but I end up with a kitchen that looks like a tornado hit it and a meal that even my dog side-eyes. Anyone else feel like cooking is just a form of modern art?
I don't get why everyone acts like cleaning your room is some deep life lesson. Like, congratulations, you managed to pick up a few socks! Meanwhile, I'm over here still trying to find the end of my phone charger cord, which has somehow turned into a spaghetti monster under my bed. If tidying up is a sign of success, then I definitely peaked back in 2015 when I could actually see my floor. Serious...