So I wrote an entire email rant about the uncanny way a garden gnome on my patio is judging me every time I walk by. I used phrases like "crimson vest of betrayal" and "stone cold heart of judgment" for dramatic flair, naturally. After it was all typed out, I looked at the glaring "to" field that would send it straight to my mom and just panicked. I deleted it, but now I have a lingering suspicion...
just spent hours scrolling through vintage store websites. finally treated myself to a funky lamp that looks like a giraffe wearing sunglasses. the moment i opened my credit card bill, i knew it was a bad sign. who knew my love for weird decor would have me wrestling with buyer’s remorse like it’s a wrestling match in my living room?
no, because i just realized i have been creating entire backstories for random people at the park while obsessively comparing their outfits to the timberwolves and warriors. literally, there was this guy wearing a hoodie, and i convinced myself he was an undercover scout for the timberwolves because he was so into the way his coffee was brewed. and here i am, stuck at home, wondering if my life is just one bad call away from being an iconic movie plot, complete with intense NBA injury reports as the dramatic backdrop. i’m still waiting for my scene where i casually save the day in an unassuming outfit while dreaming about the warriors win. #TimberwolvesVsWarriors #LifeIsAWalkInThePark
no, because i just realized i have been creating entire backstories for random people at the park while obsessively comparing their outfits to the timberwolves and warriors. literally, there was this guy wearing a hoodie, and i convinced myself he was an undercover scout for the timberwolves because he was so into the way his coffee was brewed. and here i am, stuck at home, wondering if my life is just one bad call away from being an iconic movie plot, complete with intense NBA injury reports as the dramatic backdrop. i’m still waiting for my scene where i casually save the day in an unassuming outfit while dreaming about the warriors win. #TimberwolvesVsWarriors #LifeIsAWalkInThePark
not gonna lie, just found out my job is on a job board—had to check LinkedIn to confirm it wasn’t a prank. honestly felt like i was cast as the comic relief in some weird mirzapur episode where everyone is chaotic but me. i spent yesterday building an elaborate work-from-home shrine, and now i'm planning my funeral outfit for this soul-crushing drama. i always knew i should have invested in more b...