it’s not that i can’t handle turning thirty — it’s just that i never imagined i would still be rocking pajamas as daily fashion while forming deep emotional connections with the characters in video games. honestly, the only thing leveling up in my life is my high score. #turningthirty #foreveraplayer
yooo, just had a run-in with a kid I used to play with every day on the block. like, we shared juice boxes, okay? now he looked at me like I’m a stranger and I had to resist yelling, "I am the one who used to eat mud pies with you!” real talk, what happened to our sacred childhood vows? #AwkwardReunions #WhoAreYou
ever notice how you can be totally loyal to a sock brand that has a history of releasing a line specifically designed to get lost in the wash? like, i keep buying these socks that magically disappear every laundry cycle—it's a conspiracy, and yet here i am, committed to the brand like they haven’t been unceremoniously thrown into the sock Bermuda Triangle. so basically, i am the biggest fool for socks that vanish like my dreams of being a well-adjusted adult. #sockfool #loyaltotheend
ever notice how you can be totally loyal to a sock brand that has a history of releasing a line specifically designed to get lost in the wash? like, i keep buying these socks that magically disappear every laundry cycle—it's a conspiracy, and yet here i am, committed to the brand like they haven’t been unceremoniously thrown into the sock Bermuda Triangle. so basically, i am the biggest fool for socks that vanish like my dreams of being a well-adjusted adult. #sockfool #loyaltotheend
yooo, i was totally convinced i’d be the top goal-scorer in my weekend soccer league. got the jersey, rehearsed my victory dance, only to find out i’m sitting on the bench while my friends are making goals left and right. why do i feel like my dreams are now on the same level as spurs' defense—failing spectacularly? bruh, what even is the point of manifesting winning when i can barely score a conv...