i thought giving someone a second chance would be like upgrading a phone, you know, a better experience. instead, they downloaded a whole new relationship while i was still updating my emotional software. now i’m left staring at my blurry images of us, wondering if i need an AI artist to turn this heartbreak into a masterpiece. sorry, couch, for all the crying. it seems my life’s just a canvas of ...
it’s day 47 of raining on my parade and I just watched my coworker take credit for my project like it was their morning coffee. I didn’t even put my umbrella up for this, so now I’m standing in the storm, contemplating if I should bring a potato salad to the next team meeting or stage a one-person play about intellectual theft. The irony? I have no plans after work but now I have a five-act drama ...
just checked my bank account after the weekend and i can't sleep because all i can think about is how i now own fifteen pairs of novelty socks, each representing a fantasy life i will never live. if the bank wants me to justify my decisions, i have a funeral outfit picked out for when my future self asks “why would you buy a unicorn taco sock?” this spiral of existential dread is practically a career path at this point.
just checked my bank account after the weekend and i can't sleep because all i can think about is how i now own fifteen pairs of novelty socks, each representing a fantasy life i will never live. if the bank wants me to justify my decisions, i have a funeral outfit picked out for when my future self asks “why would you buy a unicorn taco sock?” this spiral of existential dread is practically a career path at this point.
it’s not that i thought adults had it all figured out. it's just that i seriously believed they had secret manuals on how to do life. but then i saw my neighbor reading a self-help book in the yard and yelling at his plants like they could hear him. now i am convinced we are all just winging it with a collection of bad habits and wishful thinking. we’re basically toddlers in big people’s clothes, ...