it's day 24 of looking in the mirror and realizing that my reflection is a mix of both my parents. the hairline that started receding before I even hit thirty. a right eyebrow that sits a little higher, just like dad’s. sometimes I laugh, but most days I mourn the loss of the “me” that looked like my own idea of normal. somehow, in this chaotic blend of features, I find myself wondering if my life...
it's not that I'm broke—it's just that my bank account screams "party on a budget" while my coworkers think I own a yacht. every month, I feel like a magician, making bills disappear… until I remember I need to pay rent too. I had to delete my grocery app because seeing how empty my cart was after checking my balance felt like self-harm. got invited to a fancy dinner and pretended to have “other p...
last night, saw shanaya kapoor talking about ignoring hurtful comments, and yaar, I felt that deep in my bones, kyunki main toh daily bolta hoon khud se, "tu kuch nahi hai" jab koi status dekhta hoon, sabki zindagi shiny lagti hai except meri. everyone thinks I am okay, living in my parents' house, scrolling through posts while my cousin with the flat posts about brunches, par sach toh ye hai, unki zindagi hai puraat chudi ya sab yaad nahi raha, aur main yahaan ghar wale samajhte nahi ke mere pass na khud ke liye paise hain, na future plan. kuch khaas nahi hai mere life mein, bas dekhta hoon sabko muskuraate hue aur dil ki gehraiyon mein sochta hoon ki kaise ye khud pehle dost ko late raha, yaar samjho na please, it hurts to play the happy face every single day. #ShanayaKapoor #realstruggl...
last night, saw shanaya kapoor talking about ignoring hurtful comments, and yaar, I felt that deep in my bones, kyunki main toh daily bolta hoon khud se, "tu kuch nahi hai" jab koi status dekhta hoon, sabki zindagi shiny lagti hai except meri. everyone thinks I am okay, living in my parents' house, scrolling through posts while my cousin with the flat posts about brunches, par sach toh ye hai, unki zindagi hai puraat chudi ya sab yaad nahi raha, aur main yahaan ghar wale samajhte nahi ke mere pass na khud ke liye paise hain, na future plan. kuch khaas nahi hai mere life mein, bas dekhta hoon sabko muskuraate hue aur dil ki gehraiyon mein sochta hoon ki kaise ye khud pehle dost ko late raha, yaar samjho na please, it hurts to play the happy face every single day. #ShanayaKapoor #realstruggl...
literally just listened to the latest tiny desk concert on npr and realized my whole life is a tiny desk performance. i play the part of “totally fine” while hiding my hidden debt under my rug like it's some kind of trendy home decor. honestly, it's exhausting to fake being okay when every week is just a careful shuffle of bills and minimum payments. i'm telling you, one day someone is going to un...