yooo, my best friend just told someone my secret about my *weird obsession* with fantasy drafts—now i'm the laughing stock of the office. the punchline? the guy she told is a total noob who thinks a "sleeper" is just someone napping at their desk. bruh, as if i needed help getting roasted by a dude who believes thomas morstead is a character in a video game. can't wait to see how this all goes dow...
last night, my situationship introduced me to this random dude as 'just a friend' while I was secretly wondering if he'd ever mentioned my name in passing—he hadn’t, but he did compliment my “quirky” style and I had to wonder if he meant “your closet must be a disaster” instead.
it's not that i'm stressed about my boss piling on 200 tasks after they let half the team go... it's just that now i have to do the work of a whole *orchestra* while being the one holding the baton. it’s a one-person show with standing ovations from my empty inbox while i spiral over the fact that i actually thought work-life balance was a thing. #workhardplayharder #seriouslythoughwhatdididowrong
it's not that i'm stressed about my boss piling on 200 tasks after they let half the team go... it's just that now i have to do the work of a whole *orchestra* while being the one holding the baton. it’s a one-person show with standing ovations from my empty inbox while i spiral over the fact that i actually thought work-life balance was a thing. #workhardplayharder #seriouslythoughwhatdididowrong
so i’m scrolling through a gardening forum (don’t ask) and i see my ex bragging about their "new plant buddy" - who’s literally holding the same pot that i bought for them… like, did they think i wouldn’t notice? am i the only one who could be jealous of a potted fern? but here’s the kicker - i know they don't even know how to water plants properly. should i text them just to remind them what happ...