Why is it that every time I decide to eat healthy, my fridge suddenly becomes a black hole of expired veggies and sad leftovers? Like, is there a secret fridge monster that thrives on my good intentions? I mean, at this point, my salad dressing is older than my last relationship. Can anyone else relate, or is it just me fighting against my culinary aspirations like a cartoon character?
Why do we act like we don’t know the answer to a question just because we want to sound smart? Like, bro, if I wanted to hear people mumble their way through basic knowledge, I’d just eavesdrop on a group of kids trying to figure out their homework. Also, can we talk about those “trick questions” everyone raves about? You know the ones that make you feel like a complete idiot for not realizing the...
Is it just me, or does everyone have that one friend who thinks they’re a life coach after reading a few self-help books? Like, I get it, you found yourself in a weekend retreat, but unless your ‘five steps to happiness’ include a pizza delivery and a Netflix binge, I’m not buying it. Do we just nod along and pretend they’re not one awkward metaphor away from a full-on meltdown? Seriously, how does this become acceptable in our friend circles?
Is it just me, or does everyone have that one friend who thinks they’re a life coach after reading a few self-help books? Like, I get it, you found yourself in a weekend retreat, but unless your ‘five steps to happiness’ include a pizza delivery and a Netflix binge, I’m not buying it. Do we just nod along and pretend they’re not one awkward metaphor away from a full-on meltdown? Seriously, how does this become acceptable in our friend circles?
I finally decided to take the plunge and join a book club, thinking it would be a nice way to meet people. Turns out, it's just a bunch of pretentious folks arguing over whether the author's breakfast choice was a metaphor for existential dread. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there thinking, "I just wanted to find like-minded friends, not get a PhD in literary critique." Can we just have a club where we e...