it’s 2am and I’m deep-diving into my subscription history. I found out I’ve been paying for a service that literally sends me a new houseplant every month. I don’t even know how to keep them alive! then I check my bank account and it feels like I’m funding an entire jungle for some reason. so, am I the one who should be ‘aggressive and intense,’ or is it my dying snake plant? #AstonVilla #LifeChoi...
it's 3am and I just Googled "why do people love hood stock more than me?" I mean, my sibling’s out here getting birthday cakes shaped like Teslas, while I'm lucky if my mom remembers I exist past dinner. imagine scrolling through my phone, watching stocks soar, and realizing I get the same thrill every time someone sends them a “happy for you!” text. honestly, should I start investing in being mor...
yooo, i just realized i am actively avoiding my neighbor because in my head, we had an intense argument about whether ketchup belongs on hotdogs. like, i’m boiling inside because i can’t believe he called me "unsophisticated" over a condiment choice. the twist? he thinks we’re still on friendly terms and even waved at me while watering his fake cactus. bruh, he has no idea this whole feud has turned me into a gourmet mustard enthusiast in secret.
yooo, i just realized i am actively avoiding my neighbor because in my head, we had an intense argument about whether ketchup belongs on hotdogs. like, i’m boiling inside because i can’t believe he called me "unsophisticated" over a condiment choice. the twist? he thinks we’re still on friendly terms and even waved at me while watering his fake cactus. bruh, he has no idea this whole feud has turned me into a gourmet mustard enthusiast in secret.
i literally chose the practical path, right? now i sit here wondering if being a professional burrito roller is my calling. like, what if my life was a taco truck instead of a cubicle? i mean, sometimes i look at my life and think, “would i trade spreadsheets for salsa recipes?” then i remember, i can’t even make guacamole without crying.