I have a theory that the universe is just one big cruel prank show, and I’m the unwitting contestant. Like, why else would I step outside after a week of non-stop rain just to be greeted by the sun, only to trip over my own two feet in front of an audience of toddlers? Seriously, the only thing worse than falling flat on your face is trying to play it cool while the little ones giggle like they ju...
I just realized that my "self-care" routine is basically binge-watching a series I’ve already seen five times, slathering on a face mask, and pretending that I don’t have responsibilities. Meanwhile, my friends are out here hiking mountains or doing yoga at sunrise. Like, who decided that self-care means sweating it out in nature? I’m just trying to sweat out the popcorn I ate during the last thre...
Is it just me, or does every time you ask for someone's advice, it’s like opening a can of worms? You think you're just looking for a simple suggestion, but suddenly you're knee-deep in their life stories and unsolicited drama. Like, thanks for the tips, Karen, but I didn’t ask for your whole childhood trauma narrated in 3 acts. Why can’t people just stick to the topic?
Is it just me, or does every time you ask for someone's advice, it’s like opening a can of worms? You think you're just looking for a simple suggestion, but suddenly you're knee-deep in their life stories and unsolicited drama. Like, thanks for the tips, Karen, but I didn’t ask for your whole childhood trauma narrated in 3 acts. Why can’t people just stick to the topic?
I have a confession: I still use my mom's Netflix account, and I change the password every few months to make it look like I’m paying for it. She has no idea. But here’s the kicker—I also pretend to be “super busy” with my own life so I don’t have to share my real life with her. I mean, how can I explain that my biggest achievement this week was finally folding my laundry? Let’s be real, adulting ...