finally got the place to myself, and obviously, i had to turn the living room into a mini-nightclub, right? i blasted the music, wore my fanciest pajamas, and started dancing like my career depended on it. next thing i know, my cat is judging me from the couch, and i accidentally knocked over a vase that looked like it cost a month’s rent. then i tripped over my own sock during a dance break, land...
so i found my old essays and wow, apparently i thought “nature” was just a word for trees and wet shoes. one entire page was dedicated to describing a puddle like i was auditioning for a nature documentary. the best part? my teacher’s feedback was just “thank you for this insightful view of everyday water." like, great, i’ve peaked as a poet discussing my local rain. who knew i’d be 30 and still n...
today i helped my neighbor haggle a smart tv price down to half. like, who knew i had the power to negotiate in a language we both didn't speak... but when the guy started calling my neighbor “Sir” in broken English, i realized, maybe i just taught him that smart tvs come with human sacrifices on sale too? # #bargainingheroes
today i helped my neighbor haggle a smart tv price down to half. like, who knew i had the power to negotiate in a language we both didn't speak... but when the guy started calling my neighbor “Sir” in broken English, i realized, maybe i just taught him that smart tvs come with human sacrifices on sale too? # #bargainingheroes
so, turns out i spent more this month on an elaborate scratching post for my cat than i did on groceries, which honestly just makes sense. i mean, the NFL has announcers like ian eagle, and my cat needs his own version of a plush sports commentary tower to really feel that excitement, right? #IanEagle #CatConnoisseur