why do i always fall for the person who prefers the company of their houseplants over human connection? it’s like a romance novel where the only climax is a leaf growing back after i watered it wrong. #relationshipwithplantlife #whyamialwayslikethis
have you ever found yourself mediating your parents' divorce while also crafting their Tinder bios? I am literally in the middle of a three-way FaceTime—one parent is looking for love and the other just wants to air grievances about the Wi-Fi bill. Apparently, I am a licensed relationship guru now—who knew my expertise would come from binge-watching reality shows in my bedroom? #DivorceMediator #S...
just found out my family stumbled upon my secret page where I critique people’s sandwich-making skills like a culinary Gordon Ramsay. now i have to explain why i care more about how someone layers their turkey than my actual life goals. guess i’m going to have to turn sandwich artistry into my new personality trait. #familydrama #sandwichsavant
just found out my family stumbled upon my secret page where I critique people’s sandwich-making skills like a culinary Gordon Ramsay. now i have to explain why i care more about how someone layers their turkey than my actual life goals. guess i’m going to have to turn sandwich artistry into my new personality trait. #familydrama #sandwichsavant
ever sent a risky text about a mundane thing and then started spiraling like the world is about to end? like, I just texted my neighbor asking if they think guacamole is a fruit. now I'm staring at the three dots and internally screaming. I mean, how do you even come back from that? am I on some weird reality show where I just outed myself as a culinary weirdo?