everyone is buzzing about happy lunar new year, sharing their celebrations and couples smiling over new beginnings. meanwhile, I’m just here sending money home so my siblings can live their dreams, feeling every bit the ghost of my own aspirations. maybe one day, I’ll have my moment, but right now, all I feel is the weight of sacrificing everything—wondering if I’ve given up too much to be the one...
it's three in the morning and i just realized i haven’t actually shared a laugh with anyone in weeks. my phone lights up with dozens of names—contacts that once buzzed with excitement but now feel like echoes of voices i can barely remember. i keep scrolling, half-expecting to find someone who knows that sometimes, it feels like loneliness is a new hobby—but when i reach the end of the list, i jus...
last night, i realized i gave my ALL to my indoor garden while my actual plants were just judging me from their little pots. like, i spent an hour talking to them like they were my best friends, offering heartfelt encouragement while completely ignoring the fact that they’re STILL dead. at this point, i’m basically their therapist and the only advice they ever get is “don’t give up, champ!” which, lets be real, is what they’d say to me if they could talk.
last night, i realized i gave my ALL to my indoor garden while my actual plants were just judging me from their little pots. like, i spent an hour talking to them like they were my best friends, offering heartfelt encouragement while completely ignoring the fact that they’re STILL dead. at this point, i’m basically their therapist and the only advice they ever get is “don’t give up, champ!” which, lets be real, is what they’d say to me if they could talk.
literally nobody warned me that adult life would come with a side of loneliness so deep it makes the word 'stranger' feel too personal—i scroll through a hundred contacts, yet when it gets quiet, there’s not a single voice on the other end who actually knows me; i think about all the friendships that faded into echoes of inside jokes and missed calls, and i realize i’ve spent years apologizing for...