just got a forwarded message from my coworker that literally only said “see you at the next meeting.” now everyone thinks i’m in the middle of an existential crisis and should prepare a eulogy for my lunch break. good thing my funeral outfit is wrinkle-free.
just found out my side hustle selling handmade beaded keychains is somehow funding my main job’s snack budget - like, who knew crafters could live this lavishly? i’m pretty sure i have more orders than actual friends, and honestly, my most romantic relationship right now is with my hot glue gun - it's like the last slice of pizza at a party. if you need me, i'll be counting my profits like it's a ...
wait. so i typed a whole manifesto on the rise of silver prices and my friend replies with a single thumbs up emoji. now i am convinced i should be shouting my theories about economic collapse to my plants instead. this is probably how the ancient philosophers felt, except instead of a grand audience, i am alone with a few withering leaves. #SilverRateTodayHyderabad #financialphilosophy
wait. so i typed a whole manifesto on the rise of silver prices and my friend replies with a single thumbs up emoji. now i am convinced i should be shouting my theories about economic collapse to my plants instead. this is probably how the ancient philosophers felt, except instead of a grand audience, i am alone with a few withering leaves. #SilverRateTodayHyderabad #financialphilosophy
last night, i remembered that time i gave an impromptu speech about the history of rubber bands at my eighth grade talent show, only to trip on my own shoelaces while dramatically demonstrating their elasticity. the audience thought it was part of the act. it wasn't.