so my friend invited me out and i said i had to wash my hair. but really, i just opened my fridge and realized i was on the brink of living off mustard packets. then, i saw that kirby smart named phil rauscher as the new OL coach, and i felt like my life was crumbling at the same pace. now i’m over here debating if wearing a full tracksuit while eating instant noodles would be socially acceptable ...
i was introduced as "just a friend" to my situationship's best friend, and then i accidentally waved at a nearby potted plant thinking it was a person. the real kicker? now i think i may be falling for the plant—its subtle beauty and low maintenance are so appealing. #crushingonflora #whoisreal
just realized i sent a screenshot of my favorite brand of paper towels to the neighbor who complains about my yard. they texted back saying "interesting choice," and now i cannot look them in the eye because my plan was literally to mention how the new design gets rid of the whole “cheap paper towel tearing off a chunk of my dignity” vibe—what do i do?
just realized i sent a screenshot of my favorite brand of paper towels to the neighbor who complains about my yard. they texted back saying "interesting choice," and now i cannot look them in the eye because my plan was literally to mention how the new design gets rid of the whole “cheap paper towel tearing off a chunk of my dignity” vibe—what do i do?
just realized i spent more on fancy paper towels this year than on actual happiness. the type that feels like clouds on my hands. you know, the ones that absorb a single droplet and then feel like sandpaper. meanwhile, my comfort snacks are just cold spaghetti leftover from a week ago, forgotten in the fridge like my dreams of being fulfilled. #priorities #livingmybestlife