last night, I realized that when he said "I love you," my brain short-circuited and I panicked so much I blurted out "thank you" like I was accepting an award for best emotional deflector. meanwhile, outside my window, the temperature was plummeting like my chances of ever having a healthy relationship. but honestly, with the cold and this wintery mess approaching, my idea of a warm cuddle now fee...
not gonna lie, I literally spent all night dreaming about Marcus Rashford’s free kicks while I sat here in my ex's oversized hoodie. like, who am I? I used to joke about never being the type to pine over some dude scoring goals, but here I am crying over highlights while my current situationship ghosted me for the fourth time this month. I mean, it's honestly tragic. just like my love life. #Marcu...
last night, I scrolled through old texts and saw a group chat from the UConn game days when we all believed we were basketball experts—had that little side bet over who would dunk first. now? one of those “experts” is acting like they don't know my name at all—meanwhile, they are pretending to be besties with people they barely met last week. it’s the betrayal of the century—like, c'mon, I still remember when you borrowed my hoodie for “the ultimate post-game look.” and now I’m just sitting here, reminiscing about glory days while you play the "who is this" game? wild. #UconnWomenapossBasketball #UnexpectedBetrayals
last night, I scrolled through old texts and saw a group chat from the UConn game days when we all believed we were basketball experts—had that little side bet over who would dunk first. now? one of those “experts” is acting like they don't know my name at all—meanwhile, they are pretending to be besties with people they barely met last week. it’s the betrayal of the century—like, c'mon, I still remember when you borrowed my hoodie for “the ultimate post-game look.” and now I’m just sitting here, reminiscing about glory days while you play the "who is this" game? wild. #UconnWomenapossBasketball #UnexpectedBetrayals
it's not that i wanted to find out if paul dano has ever been in a movie about insurance adjusters. it’s just that my coworker, who literally acts like he’s starring in his own dramatic film every day, gave me a lecture on why i should “go back to school” instead of googling things like this during lunch. now i'm questioning if my entire life has been a comedic horror show. at least if paul can ha...