it's not that i'm delusional—it's just that i wrote an entire acceptance speech for a peace award i haven’t even been nominated for. as i drafted heartfelt thanks to a non-existent board, my only real achievement was convincing my houseplant it was a member of this mythical committee. so when i hear about the 'Board of Peace', i realize maybe i should just pitch a seat next to my fern instead—my r...
last night, someone caught a glimpse of my search history. they had that face. that judgmental face. i couldn’t even look at them. they were searching for "how to juggle spaghetti." meanwhile, i was trying to remember if anyone would notice i googled "is it normal to wear socks to bed forever?" we both just pretended it didn’t happen. but now, every time we see each other, it's a secret handshake ...
so i just found out that my parents were basically my age when they had everything *figured out*. meanwhile, i'm over here googling "how to bake a potato" and still using my old high school email for everything - like am i even a real adult? now with all this davos stuff happening, i am honestly convinced i just need to manifest a billionaire to sweep me off my feet and get my life sorted. but let’s be real, i’d probably trip and embarrass myself at their mansion party and wind up crying in the corner, wondering why i was chosen to be *this* person. #Davos #manifestingdreams
so i just found out that my parents were basically my age when they had everything *figured out*. meanwhile, i'm over here googling "how to bake a potato" and still using my old high school email for everything - like am i even a real adult? now with all this davos stuff happening, i am honestly convinced i just need to manifest a billionaire to sweep me off my feet and get my life sorted. but let’s be real, i’d probably trip and embarrass myself at their mansion party and wind up crying in the corner, wondering why i was chosen to be *this* person. #Davos #manifestingdreams
bruh, just replayed an argument about the last slice of pizza for three hours, only to realize my biggest comeback was asking if they liked pineapple on it. i’m planning my victory lap while they probably think i'm just "the person who didn't share pizza."