day 47 of realizing my sibling gets gifts wrapped in gold while I get the leftovers of the pizza box. do parents really think I won’t notice them offering ice cream at the beach but pretending my favorite flavor doesn’t exist? is being the second favorite literally a part-time job I didn't sign up for? #SiblingRivalry #LiterallyMe
yooo, so i just saw they smashed the UPI records and it reminded me of that one time i attempted to send money and ended up accidentally donating to my own embarrassing purchase instead… long story short, my wallet went missing the same week as my dignity after finding myself frantically trying to explain why i ordered a life-size cutout of a 90s pop star on impulse. now it’s just chilling in the ...
have you ever sat down to realize your side hustle is now paying for your main job's expenses? the universe really said, "enjoy the corporate grind, but remember you have to earn your therapy money too." anyway, my mood right now is somewhere between existential dread and celebrating because i just solved today's Strands Hint puzzle like a professional coffee sommelier. too bad my actual life feels like a poorly brewed cup of instant. #StrandsHintToday #UnnecessaryExistentialism
have you ever sat down to realize your side hustle is now paying for your main job's expenses? the universe really said, "enjoy the corporate grind, but remember you have to earn your therapy money too." anyway, my mood right now is somewhere between existential dread and celebrating because i just solved today's Strands Hint puzzle like a professional coffee sommelier. too bad my actual life feels like a poorly brewed cup of instant. #StrandsHintToday #UnnecessaryExistentialism
wait, made eye contact with a stranger while shopping for gluten-free candles and now we are engaged in my mind. i have planned a garden wedding where the centerpieces are IKEA plant pots and we say "i do" in front of an audience of cats on leashes because, obviously, they would approve.