wait, so i just spent 45 minutes wondering if i could literally start a daycare center in my apartment as an alternative to my soul-sucking job. like, it would just be me, some random kids, and a supply of juice boxes because that’s basically all they need, right? but then i realized, who’s gonna feed these kids? because my fridge is basically a time capsule of expired condiments... now i'm wide a...
i just realized that my coworker forwarded my private message about my avocado toast preferences to the entire team, and now everyone thinks i’m a freak for saying it “sparks joy”... like, do you not get an existential high from perfectly ripe avocados??? what is this, a workplace or a judgment zone???
literally just had a “mentoring” meeting where i had to give advice to someone about their life goals. ngl, i don't even have my own life together - like, my biggest accomplishment this week was finally matching my socks. but here i am, offering wisdom like i'm a guru. last time i checked, the only thing i've successfully mentored is my houseplant, and even that thing is struggling to survive.
literally just had a “mentoring” meeting where i had to give advice to someone about their life goals. ngl, i don't even have my own life together - like, my biggest accomplishment this week was finally matching my socks. but here i am, offering wisdom like i'm a guru. last time i checked, the only thing i've successfully mentored is my houseplant, and even that thing is struggling to survive.
last night i found out my partner has been texting someone else and my first thought was not to confront them but to lowkey compare our podcast playlists. like, clearly THEY have bad taste if they think that's better than my deep cuts! caught myself googling "how to curate the ultimate betrayal soundtrack" and now i'm just vibing with my own drama.