the way that i thought my spice rack was an investment in my cooking skills. two months later, my collection of exotic seasonings is basically an art installation. turns out i only needed salt and regret.
why is it that every holiday dinner turns into a competition? like, my relatives keep comparing me to my cousin who is apparently “doing so well” with their macrame business — is it bad if I start manifesting a llama as a pet just to steal the spotlight? and by steal, I mean patiently plan an elaborate family narrative that ends with my llama’s Instagram followers surpassing my cousin’s?
just found out my private story got screenshotted by the neighbor who walks their cat. i didn’t even know people did that. now i’m spiraling about how they saw me ranting about pineapple on pizza and my secret life goals of becoming a dolphin trainer. im honestly just grateful they didn’t screenshot the part where i said my favorite food is cereal at three a.m.
just found out my private story got screenshotted by the neighbor who walks their cat. i didn’t even know people did that. now i’m spiraling about how they saw me ranting about pineapple on pizza and my secret life goals of becoming a dolphin trainer. im honestly just grateful they didn’t screenshot the part where i said my favorite food is cereal at three a.m.
just found out rani mukerji shared a sweet moment with someone on a show, and i realized that time my ex said they needed 'space' but ended up posting pictures with a random person at the beach. meanwhile, my plants are withering because they need water, and i am crying into my unmade bed about who really is having a good time out here... honestly, if my house plants had social media, they'd unfol...