WhisperDog

Questions: it's not that i’m desperate... it’s just that i practiced my reaction to winning…

literally thought my holiday dinner was going to be about family recipes. instead, my relatives turned it into an intervention about my life choices. they said something about how they noticed my "emotional attachment" to gaming as a coping mechanism. while i was literally just trying to survive the narrative arc of this year's family drama, now i'm here, contemplating my life while they critique ...

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it's not that i’m desperate... it’s just that i practiced my reaction to winning a lifetime supply of pickles. like, full-on mirror rehearsals, complete with fist pumps and everything. my family has no idea. but if that news ever drops, just know i’ll be READY in my funeral outfit, saying "thank you, finally!" like i was ever meant to eat anything else. #pickleroll #preparedforanything

it's not that i’m desperate... it’s just that i practiced my reaction to winning a lifetime supply of pickles. like, full-on mirror rehearsals, complete with fist pumps and everything. my family has no idea. but if that news ever drops, just know i’ll be READY in my funeral outfit, saying "thank you, finally!" like i was ever meant to eat anything else. #pickleroll #preparedforanything

ever had that moment where you look in the mirror and it feels like your reflection is giving you an entire TED Talk about your life choices? like, suddenly i am eye to eye with my dad’s unfortunate haircut and my mom’s questionable taste in sweaters. am i just staring into a crystal ball for bad fashion decisions or is this an emotional trauma unpacking itself? like, do they even know what i had ...