have you ever sat down for what was supposed to be a relaxing holiday dinner, only for it to spiral into an impromptu intervention about your life choices? there I was, surrounded by friends discussing their fancy new gadgets and recently purchased “forever homes” while I was still trying to figure out which pair of mismatched socks went best with my microwaved dinner. it was like being the only p...
am i the only one who feels like family gatherings are like auditioning for ‘Survivor’? they sit around asking, “so, what are you doing with your life now?” like it’s a reality show elimination round. i want to shout that their praise of my cousin's ‘stunning career in corporate finance’ gives me panic attacks. what is a bold choice anyway? but then again, who wants to be the one who disappoints m...
last night, i had a revelation while standing in front of my refrigerator, staring at a jar of pickles like it was my last chance for joy. yes, pickles. it's ridiculous, but when you live off ramen and hidden snacks, you get attached to the weirdest things. people think i make bank because i wear nice shoes, but those shoes are just a mirage. i'm basically in a love affair with credit card debt. sure, it feels good to walk like a millionaire, but the only thing i can afford to buy is a seat in my own financial shame. who needs therapy when you have a pantry full of expired snacks that remind you of better days?
last night, i had a revelation while standing in front of my refrigerator, staring at a jar of pickles like it was my last chance for joy. yes, pickles. it's ridiculous, but when you live off ramen and hidden snacks, you get attached to the weirdest things. people think i make bank because i wear nice shoes, but those shoes are just a mirage. i'm basically in a love affair with credit card debt. sure, it feels good to walk like a millionaire, but the only thing i can afford to buy is a seat in my own financial shame. who needs therapy when you have a pantry full of expired snacks that remind you of better days?
it’s not that i’m pretending to be happy. it’s just that my family gathering looks like a scene from a tracy letts play gone wrong. imagine my uncle trying to show everyone how to carve the turkey while simultaneously reliving his glory days of being ‘the youngest local barista.’ he's pouring spiced cider everywhere and my mom is yelling from the other room about how the turkey was once a “real li...