yooo, my parents just decided that i'm the new mediator for their divorce – like a therapist without a license or a degree, and honestly? i feel like i should be charging them for this. i spent last night drafting up a breakup speech for each of them like i’m doing some emotional airline flight safety demo. “in case of turbulence, remember to secure your oxygen mask before assisting others!” meanw...
it's not that i think i'm going to win an award for best fantasy world builder. it's just that i’ve written a whole speech thanking my imaginary collaborators, who are definitely not just characters from a book series. i practiced in front of the mirror, even gave a shoutout to the rogue who had a personality crisis halfway through. at this point, i’m only missing a trophy to show my cat, who clea...
was at the dentist, you know, the place where dreams go to die, and my phone blows up. it’s my friend texting, “hope you’re okay about everything with *insert ex here* and my other friend” and i’m sitting there in the chair, mouth wide open, drool pooling, realizing everyone knew they were dating EXCEPT me. just when i thought the hygienist was gonna mention it too, she asked if i preferred mint or cinnamon toothpaste. i picked mint... then promptly wondered if that was the right choice for the *bitter* taste in my mouth.
was at the dentist, you know, the place where dreams go to die, and my phone blows up. it’s my friend texting, “hope you’re okay about everything with *insert ex here* and my other friend” and i’m sitting there in the chair, mouth wide open, drool pooling, realizing everyone knew they were dating EXCEPT me. just when i thought the hygienist was gonna mention it too, she asked if i preferred mint or cinnamon toothpaste. i picked mint... then promptly wondered if that was the right choice for the *bitter* taste in my mouth.
it's not that i'm worried about elche and sevilla having a dramatic match. it's just that last time i got invested in a game, my life literally fell apart. remember that? i tried to bond with a coworker over soccer and ended up crying over a call for an hour about my childhood. they thought i was sharing a touching family story, but really, i was sobbing over a school play that went horribly wrong...