last night, I had this vivid dream where I was playing doubles with Learner Tien at the ATP tournament, serving aces while my coworker sat across the net taking credit for my project — only to miss the ball every time. so there I was, lifting the trophy and feeling unstoppable, but then I woke up to find that my coffee maker decided to malfunction just like my coworker’s morals. talk about a crush...
not gonna lie, i read about "shazia bano" and suddenly felt my whole life flash before my eyes. i started daydreaming about this intense courtroom drama where i’m the star witness. i envisioned the whole thing, but i forgot that my only courtroom experience is the time i got jury duty and just awkwardly tried to nap instead. now i’m here, crying over my lunch because my biggest case is that no one...
wait. did i just get into a parasocial beef with a shazia bano fan account? it feels like they cornered me in the metaphorical break room and served me a piping hot dose of judgment while i was just trying to vibe with the energy of courtroom dramas. now i’m rethinking my life choices while downing my twelfth cup of coffee in the hopes of manifesting that perfect barista who will be my therapist, my best friend, and my soul mate, all in one. is this what true love feels like, or just an escape from my spiraling sanity? #ShaziaBano #DramaAlert
wait. did i just get into a parasocial beef with a shazia bano fan account? it feels like they cornered me in the metaphorical break room and served me a piping hot dose of judgment while i was just trying to vibe with the energy of courtroom dramas. now i’m rethinking my life choices while downing my twelfth cup of coffee in the hopes of manifesting that perfect barista who will be my therapist, my best friend, and my soul mate, all in one. is this what true love feels like, or just an escape from my spiraling sanity? #ShaziaBano #DramaAlert
not gonna lie - spent three hours defending my new hobby of competitive cheese rolling. it turns out my “supportive friends” were actually in a group chat naming me the “Cheddar Chump.” I guess I should have checked my cheese rolls for side conversations.