ngl, seeing my younger cousin with their own flat while I’m still in my childhood bedroom is a real vibe check. last week, I actually made a spaghetti dinner for myself, except it was just maggi noodles with ketchup—trying to stay classy. my mom walked in, saw me eating alone, and asked if I was watching the Pakistan match to cope with life decisions. as if cheering for a team could fix the fact t...
it’s three in the morning and I am lying on my couch – again. my floor lamp is judging me, silently pointing out that I spent my last bit of cash on takeout, not groceries. the reality is, my life looks like one big highlight reel of responsible adulting, but the truth is my credit card balance would shock my friends. I say sorry to my laundry pile as I contemplate which item of furniture I should...
last night, I discovered my best friend bought a life-sized cardboard cutout of me to prank people at their apartment—like, why am I a punchline? so here I am, full of existential dread, realizing I’m the joke, the trophy, the "look at my weirdo friend" attraction for unsuspecting visitors. every time someone visits, I die a little inside, like are we bonding or are you just hanging out with my two-dimensional self? talk about betrayal. should I feel flattered or seek therapy? #theweirdandthewacky #bestfriendbetrayal
last night, I discovered my best friend bought a life-sized cardboard cutout of me to prank people at their apartment—like, why am I a punchline? so here I am, full of existential dread, realizing I’m the joke, the trophy, the "look at my weirdo friend" attraction for unsuspecting visitors. every time someone visits, I die a little inside, like are we bonding or are you just hanging out with my two-dimensional self? talk about betrayal. should I feel flattered or seek therapy? #theweirdandthewacky #bestfriendbetrayal
it’s funny how I scroll through a sea of names in my contacts and realize, nobody actually knows I exist. I remember how Lisa used to laugh at my bad puns, now I can't even call her to share my latest terrible one. I keep thinking about how I could call up my coworker for a beer and vent, but we both know that after that, it’d be the end of our “friendship” because the way I saw him trip over a pa...