no because i literally told my friends i had a family emergency to avoid going out, and now i’m just sitting at home organizing my collection of old post-its like it’s a NATIONAL TREASURE. they’re gonna be so surprised when they find out my biggest crisis is deciding whether the neon pink or the lavender post-it goes with my mood board.
last night, i accidentally walked in on a mime at the park practicing for a gig. instead of leaving, i stood there for twenty minutes, rehearsing my grand escape lines. i realized today, i gave a second chance to someone who used it to talk to the mime. now they’re planning a street performance together. i mean, at least someone’s getting a shot.
it's not that i was sharing my deepest secrets on my private story. it's just that i wanted to post about my latest obsession with collecting antique forks. like, who knew Victorian forks had so much personality? anyway, i opened my phone to see a friend reacting with shock, and then realized it was the person who absolutely HATES cutlery. now they're judging my very existence because of a metal utensil preference. this is my villain origin story, and it all started with a fork.
it's not that i was sharing my deepest secrets on my private story. it's just that i wanted to post about my latest obsession with collecting antique forks. like, who knew Victorian forks had so much personality? anyway, i opened my phone to see a friend reacting with shock, and then realized it was the person who absolutely HATES cutlery. now they're judging my very existence because of a metal utensil preference. this is my villain origin story, and it all started with a fork.
the way that i walked into the break room and saw my old coworker, who once spent an entire meeting doodling mustaches on my face in a presentation, casually pouring herself coffee from the fancy machine. my heart sank as i realized, she got promoted. now she has the power to call meetings whenever she wants. should i prepare for more doodles or start updating my resume? #newbossvibes #pleasehelpm...