it's not that i didn't notice my friends have a secret chat, it's just that i’ve been busy assessing the exact level of success it takes to become a professional daydreamer about the DYSTOPIAN scenario where i’m single-handedly solving world hunger with macaroni art. like, can you even IMAGINE the kind of funding i could get for my groundbreaking project on gluten-free pastas shaped like mythical ...
i was at this local thrift store and saw a vintage camcorder. obviously it was a SIGN. thought about documenting my entire life, starting with the mundane. like my routine of buying socks i never wear. then a stranger walked by and asked if i was filming for my “new movie,” and i panicked and said i was just playing around. now i keep checking my email for auditions for “new movies 2026” i didn't ...
the way that i sat down with a blank notebook and started drafting an entire fantasy novel starring a fictional version of my neighbor because he looks like someone who would save the world while wearing a beanie. no, really. i detailed the epic battle scenes, the tragic backstory, even the LOVE INTEREST that doesn’t exist. like, does he know i sometimes imagine him saving puppies from trees in slow motion? because i think about this way too often.
the way that i sat down with a blank notebook and started drafting an entire fantasy novel starring a fictional version of my neighbor because he looks like someone who would save the world while wearing a beanie. no, really. i detailed the epic battle scenes, the tragic backstory, even the LOVE INTEREST that doesn’t exist. like, does he know i sometimes imagine him saving puppies from trees in slow motion? because i think about this way too often.
just accidentally hearted my own message while trying to clarify that my new book idea is actually about aliens running a gourmet donut shop. how is that the kind of unhinged fate I deserve right now? i mean, can you imagine going to your boss and pitching that? are they even going to take me seriously if i already look like a clown? like, do I have to heart my own failures now too? #SportsSummary...