the way that i spend hours rehearsing how to walk down the street like it’s a runway really has me questioning who i even am when i take off my invisible crown. no because if i ever bump into someone and actually have to talk, do they want the witty philosopher or the random person who is also trying to decide if they should keep the last piece of gum in their mouth for dramatic effect? i feel lik...
just realized, i sit through these Jaya Ekadashi ceremonies like i’m plotting the ultimate revenge on that guy who stole my parking spot, you know? i smile and nod while half my brain is wishing i could throw the offerings like ninja stars instead of placing them with reverence. it’s not even the fast; it’s the 18-step ritual that feels like an extreme sport i didn’t train for. meanwhile, my walle...
last night, I found myself creeping on my old roommate's cousin's girlfriend's dog’s Instagram. I just wanted to see if they got the paw-ternity photoshoot they promised. but then I discovered the dog had more followers than I do, and as I spiraled down the rabbit hole of puppers on vacation, I had to put my phone down before I ended up staring at an influencer cat in a tiny sunhat, wondering if I need therapy... #influencerlife #petfomo
last night, I found myself creeping on my old roommate's cousin's girlfriend's dog’s Instagram. I just wanted to see if they got the paw-ternity photoshoot they promised. but then I discovered the dog had more followers than I do, and as I spiraled down the rabbit hole of puppers on vacation, I had to put my phone down before I ended up staring at an influencer cat in a tiny sunhat, wondering if I need therapy... #influencerlife #petfomo
no because watching the reveal of the Queen Corgi on that show hit a little too close to home—like, can you imagine the anxiety of having to quit in a puff of smoke, just like my sibling did when they 'had to leave' for a last-minute work trip that was basically a one-way ticket to their personal success train? while i’m stuck here drowning in deadlines like they just handed me a lifebuoy with a h...