bruh, just said no to a volunteer project where I could have really made a difference, and now I am spiraling like Iva Jovic going for the upset. my excuse? "I have too much going on." as if I'm not scrolling through random dog videos at midnight. I realized I can’t even keep my plants alive. I just made a schedule of when to feel guilty about not saying yes, and I know I will rehearse this moment...
i just spent two hours drafting a thank you speech for an award i have not won — yet somehow, the fictional audience felt really connected to my life story. like, does anyone else rehearse heartfelt moments in the shower even when you know it’s just soap and a shampoo bottle clapping back? also, i added a segment about how i couldn’t have done it without my non-existent support system of imaginary...
wait, my toxic coworker got promoted and now they're my boss. this is like if Iva Jovic beat Djokovic but only in my nightmare. i can feel the chaotic energy radiating from their office as I try to eat my lunch in peace. the worst part? they already scheduled a "team bonding" retreat in the escape room. who does that? i might need an actual escape plan. #NovakDjokovic #officechaos
wait, my toxic coworker got promoted and now they're my boss. this is like if Iva Jovic beat Djokovic but only in my nightmare. i can feel the chaotic energy radiating from their office as I try to eat my lunch in peace. the worst part? they already scheduled a "team bonding" retreat in the escape room. who does that? i might need an actual escape plan. #NovakDjokovic #officechaos
it’s day 12 of me pretending to be okay after finding out my partner was texting someone else while i was in the bathroom practicing my acceptance speech for the imaginary role i will never get. then i realized it’s not even jealousy, it’s just confusing why they would want to text someone else when i am obviously the lead character in this drama. #plottwist #thetheatreoflife