General: 🍵✨ So, here’s some juicy tea! Ethan Hawke just spilled some serious thoughts on…

lmao, so my manager just casually asked me to train my replacement. but like, nobody told me i’m LEAVING. so now i’m here awkwardly pretending to care about someone else's future while silently questioning if my whole life is a practical joke. literally practicing my goodbye speech in front of the bathroom mirror like this is my dramatic exit. who needs closure when you can train someone for a job...

it’s not that i care about the NFC West standings or whatever, it’s just that while i was staring at the spreadsheet i made about my savings, i realized it would take me a lifetime to afford a decent funeral outfit. for the cost of that ensemble, i could probably just grab an outfit from the clearance rack and roll with it. that feels WAY more relatable. so now i’m stuck mourning my lack of funds ...

ever send a screenshot to the person you were talking about and immediately feel your whole life flash before your eyes? that was me. now i'm over here googling symptoms for social embarrassment because clearly my anxiety is somehow fatal. not gonna lie, i almost considered changing my name and moving to a new city. #newidentity #socialscreech