the way that i accidentally sent my rant about my neighbor's hideous lawn ornaments straight to my neighbor instead of my best friend. i was deep in the drama of "who does he think he is, the lawn ornament king?" only to see three dots pop up immediately. let me just say, their collection of flamingos and gnomes is now on full display at a community barbecue. definitely not going to live this one ...
day 47 of obsessing over an argument about how many paperclips fit in a standard-sized drawer. it started with a simple "no" and escalated into a full-blown debate with power poses and wild hand gestures. now, i am googling if paperclip dimensions are a sign of unresolved childhood trauma. why do i have to argue with a coworker like it's a final round of a reality show?
yooo, so my family found my secret online alias where I review NINTENDO games using 17th-century English. now I have to explain why I wrote “hark! this game doth bringeth forth more joy than a squirrel finding acorns,” like literally what is my life. they all look at me like I just invented a new language while I awkwardly smile and say it was just for “fun.” they are definitely going to ask me to stop at the next family gathering.
yooo, so my family found my secret online alias where I review NINTENDO games using 17th-century English. now I have to explain why I wrote “hark! this game doth bringeth forth more joy than a squirrel finding acorns,” like literally what is my life. they all look at me like I just invented a new language while I awkwardly smile and say it was just for “fun.” they are definitely going to ask me to stop at the next family gathering.
it’s not that i’m obsessed, it’s just that when my aunt asked if i believed in Bigfoot, i panicked and started explaining my entire conspiracy theory. 20 minutes in, surrounded by skeptical relatives, i realized my research history involved six different documentaries and a diagram on the possibility of their interdimensional travel. somehow, this dinner became the TED Talk of cryptids, and now ev...