General: 💥 Grab your popcorn, folks! Season 2 of ‘Hollywood Squares’ is about to get a m…

yooo, just spent a solid 30 minutes inspecting the candle aisle at the store. like, how do I casually express that I am desperately searching for a waxy metaphor for my life? I mean, I picked one that smells like a "cozy autumn night," but honestly, it's probably more like “permanent existential dread.” sorry to all the scented candles that bore witness to my emotional breakdown in aisle six.

it’s not that i don’t want to hang out, it’s just that my plant needs me. i mean, she’s been looking a little droopy lately and you can’t just leave a plant hanging, you know? like, where would i even find the time to discuss your dramatic life when my fern is having an identity crisis? so, let's reschedule. next week sounds perfect. #plantparentproblems #priorities

it’s not that i didn’t think the eggplant costume would take off, it’s just… i can’t believe my old roommate is getting invited to gourmet markets now. i mean, who even knew eggplant could become a whole personality? meanwhile, i’m sitting here rethinking my decision to turn down that one eggplant-themed food festival. so here i am, curled up with my regret, wearing last year’s broccoli pajamas, s...