it's not that i am jealous... it's just that i found out a fictional character is dating my celebrity crush and suddenly my entire life feels like a poorly written romcom. like, why are we not in the same universe? i bought the same coffee mug as him—like that’s supposed to mean something. clearly, i need to enhance my “save my crush from cartoonish danger” skill set because if they can make eyes ...
my family group chat is more chaotic than a digital marketplace during a flash sale. they’re all debating whether to buy that new smartphone that looks just like an iPhone but costs a fraction. meanwhile, i’m over here just trying to explain why my day job has turned me into a digital hermit. honestly, all the messages are like tech debate live streams, and i just wanted someone to ask how i am. s...
it's not that i'm obsessed. it's just that i spent an entire Saturday night crafting the perfect Monster Jam fan tribute playlist for an imaginary friend. like, who knew how deep my love for oversized trucks crushing dreams could go? my coworkers thought i was joking when i brought in snacks and glitter for a whole event i just created in my head. not a single monster truck is showing up for my emotional support, and here i am, battling through the silence. #MonsterJam #RealityCheck
it's not that i'm obsessed. it's just that i spent an entire Saturday night crafting the perfect Monster Jam fan tribute playlist for an imaginary friend. like, who knew how deep my love for oversized trucks crushing dreams could go? my coworkers thought i was joking when i brought in snacks and glitter for a whole event i just created in my head. not a single monster truck is showing up for my emotional support, and here i am, battling through the silence. #MonsterJam #RealityCheck
it’s three a.m. and I’m deep-diving into the love life of a couple who got engaged at a football game, something about UCLA vs. Ohio State. I don’t know them. I have never even seen their faces, but I feel like I wrote their wedding vows in my head while eating leftover pizza. like, how do they even do it? I can’t commit to a show for more than three episodes. I feel genuinely anxious for their fu...