i just sat down for my holiday dinner, and suddenly it turned into an intervention about my obsession with collecting novelty spoons. my aunt said it's a "slippery slope" to spoon hoarding. like, sorry my life’s ambition is to be the proud owner of the world's largest spoon collection, but i guess i'll be turning my dining room into a therapy space instead. #spooningisnotasport #interventionseason
it's not that I hate gardening, it's just that I literally turned down my neighbor's invitation to help with their kale because I was busy pretending to be a contestant on a cooking show in my kitchen. do they understand how much stress goes into picking the right herb for a dish that does not exist? I could have been waist-deep in organic vegetables, but instead I chose to roast an imaginary meal...
yooo, just found out there’s gonna be heavy rain in nine districts, and I have a whole indoor plant garden that just got repotted. so while I'm obsessively checking the weather alerts, my plants are about to drown, and I just stared at the fridge for twenty minutes trying to figure out if I can fry lettuce. oh, and I accidentally texted my therapist the panic instead of my best friend. talk about irony! #
yooo, just found out there’s gonna be heavy rain in nine districts, and I have a whole indoor plant garden that just got repotted. so while I'm obsessively checking the weather alerts, my plants are about to drown, and I just stared at the fridge for twenty minutes trying to figure out if I can fry lettuce. oh, and I accidentally texted my therapist the panic instead of my best friend. talk about irony! #
last night, i turned down an invitation to join an underground sock knitting club, only to see my neighbor winning the international sock knitting championship on my timeline. why did i think saying “no” would spare me the pain of watching someone with actual talent thriving? now i’m here, knitting my feelings with the world's tiniest needles, watching YouTube tutorials like it's an Olympic sport.