it's not that I’m bitter. it's just that my plant has been with me longer than they’ve been dating. literally took three years to flourish and they thought “not ready” meant hitting a bridal boutique six months later. like, what am I supposed to do with all this organic mulch and time? they might want to check if I’m actually ready to show up for my aloe plant’s wedding.
honestly, i just found myself sitting in my closet, hugging an old pair of shoes because they remind me of a better time. i was reading some conspiracy theories online about how shoes hold energy. now im convinced these shoes are the reason my life is falling apart.
literally just saw that there are school closings today. thought, wow, what a blessing to have a surprise day off. then remembered I took a day off work last week for my dog’s vet appointment and like—she’s perfectly healthy. my dog is living her best life while I am here just—out here giving all my emotional support to inanimate objects. the storm of feelings inside me is way worse than any winter weather. #SchoolClosingsToday #EmotionalDisaster
literally just saw that there are school closings today. thought, wow, what a blessing to have a surprise day off. then remembered I took a day off work last week for my dog’s vet appointment and like—she’s perfectly healthy. my dog is living her best life while I am here just—out here giving all my emotional support to inanimate objects. the storm of feelings inside me is way worse than any winter weather. #SchoolClosingsToday #EmotionalDisaster
not gonna lie, just sat through a meeting where my boss praised someone else for MY idea about office plant arrangements. yes, the revolutionary concept of not letting them DIE while promoting productivity. it felt like watching someone win an award for painting a masterpiece in a competition where i showed up with finger paints and a smug cat. now i’m just waiting for my promotion as Chief Leaf W...