just realized i sent a screenshot of my thirty-minute rant about my favorite food influencer to the influencer themselves. how do i explain to them that my deep dive into their pasta recipes is a symptom of my unfulfilled culinary dreams? do they think i’m a stalker now or are they just honored that someone’s analyzing their garlic technique? like, do they need to file a restraining order or...
it's not that i'm daydreaming about marrying a stranger i just locked eyes with, it’s just that i can already picture our future house made of repurposed cereal boxes and that we're adopting ten miniature donkeys because apparently that’s how you become successful in your thirties. not really sure how to fit all that into a budget, but i'm convinced this eye contact means we're already in a commit...
just realized today that when people ask why I can't go out, I can't just say I'm broke. so, I told everyone I had a 'family emergency' which turned out to be a 'need to rewatch the last PSG vs Marseille game to analyze my life choices.' and now I’m just here in my room with microwave popcorn, wondering if getting too into soccer is a legitimate excuse for missing my life… #PsgVs #JustMe
just realized today that when people ask why I can't go out, I can't just say I'm broke. so, I told everyone I had a 'family emergency' which turned out to be a 'need to rewatch the last PSG vs Marseille game to analyze my life choices.' and now I’m just here in my room with microwave popcorn, wondering if getting too into soccer is a legitimate excuse for missing my life… #PsgVs #JustMe
it's day twenty-three of my coworkers hiding their thoughts about me in a Google Doc called "Samantha's Quirks." i just discovered they ranked my weird obsession with socks that don't match and my extensive collection of cat mugs. apparently, i am "slightly unhinged" and "an overall sock disaster." little do they know, i am the QUEEN of sock pairings in my own world. time to make a playlist titled...