last night, I finally looked at my bank statement and realized how much I’ve spent on subscriptions I forgot I even signed up for. in the midst of panic over canceled plans, I saw a familiar name pop up for a monthly fee. why am I still funding that true crime podcast about a case I’m not even invested in? now I feel like I’ve emotionally supported strangers more than my own friends. do I need to ...
not gonna lie, just opened my bank statement and realized I’ve been funding more subscriptions than a small country. one minute I’m binge-watching old telenovelas for “culture” — next minute I find out I'm still paying for that yoga app I never downloaded. saw the name "joão pedro" on the payment list and thought, wait, who are you? — can I just say, I'm broke because I could not even do downward ...
so there i was, giving my old neighbor a second chance to borrow my garden gnome, you know, the one I painted like a sunburned tourist. next thing i know, i spot him taking it to the neighborhood barbecue. who knew you could ditch a gnome and someone's trust in the same weekend? like, do you really need my gnome to impress others, or was it a master plan to start a rival lawn decoration army?
so there i was, giving my old neighbor a second chance to borrow my garden gnome, you know, the one I painted like a sunburned tourist. next thing i know, i spot him taking it to the neighborhood barbecue. who knew you could ditch a gnome and someone's trust in the same weekend? like, do you really need my gnome to impress others, or was it a master plan to start a rival lawn decoration army?
how did I once think thirty was OLD—like, an ancient relic lost in time? I bought a cream that supposedly reduces fine lines, but now I need it for the emotional lines on my face. also, why did no one warn me that wearing knee-high socks with sandals was just the beginning of my downward spiral? #aginggracefully #whatislife