You ever think about how we spend so much time planning our lives, but most of it just feels like trying to fill out a never-ending to-do list? Like, can we take a second to recognize that half of my daily goals are just “don’t cry in public” and “look less lost”? I mean, forget the five-year plan; I can barely decide what to have for lunch without needing a therapist. Life should come with a disc...
Can we talk about how every cooking show acts like making a soufflé is as easy as popping a frozen pizza in the oven? Like, I can barely boil water without it turning into a mini science experiment. And the judges are always like, “I’m looking for a delicate balance of flavors.” Yeah, well, I’m just trying to avoid setting off the smoke alarm for the third time this week.
You ever notice how everyone suddenly becomes a self-proclaimed travel expert whenever you mention planning a trip? Like, thanks for the unsolicited advice, Karen, but I don’t need tips on “great local spots” from someone who thinks a weekend in Vegas counts as cultural immersion. I’m just trying to survive the airport security line without losing my sanity or my shoes. Can we just agree that travel is essentially a battle of who can pack the least while still remembering to bring their phone charger?
You ever notice how everyone suddenly becomes a self-proclaimed travel expert whenever you mention planning a trip? Like, thanks for the unsolicited advice, Karen, but I don’t need tips on “great local spots” from someone who thinks a weekend in Vegas counts as cultural immersion. I’m just trying to survive the airport security line without losing my sanity or my shoes. Can we just agree that travel is essentially a battle of who can pack the least while still remembering to bring their phone charger?
I just have to say, isn’t it wild that we spend our whole lives chasing success, but then we end up just wanting to sit on our couch and binge-watch reality TV? Like, I had big dreams, but here I am, deeply invested in which contestant will get sent home on a show that didn’t even exist a week ago. Is this what adulthood is? Literally turning into my own version of a Netflix potato? Spill the tea ...