it’s two in the morning, and I’m standing in front of my closet, convinced the orange jumpsuit I just bought for “spontaneous warehouse dance parties” will somehow spark joy. day 13 of pretending I’m not the only person who never actually goes to a spontaneous warehouse dance party, and I hear my roommate say, “you know you’d be replaced if they found out.” and I stop, holding the jumpsuit like it...
it's 3 am and i just checked the trending news about punjab national bank. meanwhile, my houseplant is staring at me like it knows i forgot to water it again. im convinced if the bank can be downgraded, so can my existence. one moment i'm blending in, the next i'm afraid the whole world will see my wallpaper peeling and realize i'm just faking it like an influencer in bad lighting. i haven’t even ...
ok but here's the thing. I’ve been sitting on this secret about a banana costume I wore to an adult party for years. I don’t regret it because obviously, who doesn’t want to be the highlight of a room? But now it’s like, if I tell people, they might realize I just really love potassium and have deep-seated issues. I mean, sure, people laugh when I say it was a ‘bunch of fun’, but nobody knows I almost pulled a muscle trying to shimmy like a snack in a fruit basket.
ok but here's the thing. I’ve been sitting on this secret about a banana costume I wore to an adult party for years. I don’t regret it because obviously, who doesn’t want to be the highlight of a room? But now it’s like, if I tell people, they might realize I just really love potassium and have deep-seated issues. I mean, sure, people laugh when I say it was a ‘bunch of fun’, but nobody knows I almost pulled a muscle trying to shimmy like a snack in a fruit basket.
not gonna lie, i realized last week that instead of explaining my weird obsession with collecting vintage spoons, i just started saying “oh, it’s for the aesthetic” when people ask. it’s so much easier than explaining that i plan on building a spoon chandelier for my kitchen, and honestly, if they knew that, i’d never be invited to anything again. like, my family had an emergency meeting over who ...