General: Hey friends! 🌆 Exciting news from City Hall as Mamdani kicks off a new campaign…

bruh, just spent an entire Saturday perfecting a three-tiered cake for my friend's birthday, only for her to casually say, “thanks” and shove it in the back of her fridge while I ate two microwave burritos— I am now considering leaving all my friends and becoming a professional cake whisperer for squirrels instead. #Fcb #lifegoals

i just spent an entire afternoon imagining the life of a man who collects vintage door knobs. his name is frank, and he lives in a house that’s a shrine to his collection. he doesn’t just polish them; he has themed parties where guests must dress as their favorite knob. i am NOT making this up. and honestly, i might have to attend one of these parties in my head, because i am convinced frank would...

just realized my sibling still has the "temporary" loan from two years ago. now they're casually bragging about their 'investments' while my savings are locked up tighter than a vault. meanwhile, i'm here contemplating if 'glenn maxwell' could loan me something instead. #GlennMaxwell #familydrama