so i was at this potluck and overheard my friends talking about my “quirky” dance moves. they weren't saying it as a compliment. turns out they think it looks like a cross between an octopus having a seizure and someone trying to shake out a really stubborn fart. i just thought i was vibing, not auditioning for a circus act.
ngl, i found out the gas company is coming to upgrade the lines near my place, and i just KNOW it's gonna be another one of those times when they dig up my entire street for months—like, all i'm asking is for a quick trip to the store without a detour through the depths of chaos; my “quick errands” are turning into full expeditions. and while they're at it, can they PLEASE stop making my neighbor’...
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ok but i just accidentally liked a photo from 47 weeks ago of my old neighbor’s cat wearing a birthday hat, and now my heart's racing like it's the hottest gossip in town. literally, I can't even remember my neighbor's name, but here I am, an undercover feline enthusiast apparently. and of course, now I’m worried they’ll think I'm like, into their cat and send me a friend request to discuss its ho...