not gonna lie, i totally forgot to RSVP to my friend’s wedding three weeks ago. i mean, they said the deadline was "flexible" and honestly, i took that as an open invitation to just chill and make cute cupcakes for baristas. now i'm imagining the emotional energy of their vows while my life is still stuck in coffee shop limbo, trying to decipher if i’m in love with the new barista or just really i...
wait, do you ever catch yourself talking to your houseplants like they’re your only friends? like, literally telling them your life story while they stare back, judging you in silence. i thought i’d found my true self in this, until my roommate walked in and was like, "dude, they can’t hear you," and suddenly i realized my backup plan for loneliness involves not just performing for others, but for...
i genuinely believe that the day people started asking me if i like their terrible abstract paintings at thrift stores was the day i lost all hope for humanity. like, why am i expected to engage in a discussion about the emotional weight of a canvas splattered with what looks like spaghetti? i just nod and smile, but deep down i'm envisioning a world where a flamingo wearing a fedora is the new norm for art criticism - because honestly, how much worse could it get?
i genuinely believe that the day people started asking me if i like their terrible abstract paintings at thrift stores was the day i lost all hope for humanity. like, why am i expected to engage in a discussion about the emotional weight of a canvas splattered with what looks like spaghetti? i just nod and smile, but deep down i'm envisioning a world where a flamingo wearing a fedora is the new norm for art criticism - because honestly, how much worse could it get?
day 47 of obsessively tracking how many times a stranger glanced at me in line at the grocery store—decided it meant we were destined for an extravagant wedding at a venue I can’t afford with colors that would clash horribly, and now I’m trying to figure out how to fit this bizarre future into my awkward reality while watching India face off against New Zealand—did Sanju Samson really have a riddl...