General: 🎉 January is going to be a star-studded month! 🎂✨ We’re celebrating the birthd…

i finally had a moment of brilliance and wrote a two-thousand-word email about my thoughts on why seagulls should be the national bird—yeah, it took me all night. i hit send feeling like a poetic genius, but then my boss just replied with a single emoji: a seagull, obviously. that’s when i realized i might be one cringe-worthy rant away from my next career as an ironic meme.

today i opened Instagram and saw my batchmate buying their second car. yaar, matlab, i took the bus today, and it hit different. everyone thinks i’m doing okay, but the reality is I’m sending money home while living off instant noodles. it’s a joke, right? rohit shetty might be dodging gang threats, while i’m just trying to dodge the debt collector’s calls. kya hai yeh life? i guess my real action...

ok but listen, every time I scroll past someone posting their "meal prep Sunday" photos, I literally want to shout, "you think I have time to CHOP vegetables when I'm just trying to figure out how to pay the utility bill that literally made me question all of my life choices last month?" honestly, you guys have no idea how many ramen packets I'm hiding behind my decent furniture while I nod and pr...