i used to think turning 30 meant getting my life together, but now im three days away and my biggest worry is what my last minute pizza toppings will say about me. like, what even is a responsible adult? still don't know, but i'm ready to make some life-changing choices like "pineapple or no?" while sobbing over expired leftovers.
the way that my brain decided to spiral into the possible argument i might have with the guy who stole my sandwich from the break room like a full-on THIEF is literally keeping me awake... what if he thinks it’s okay because my name wasn't on it? like, what if i call him out and he tries to convince me it was “just a shared snack”? the only snack sharing we need to talk about is the one where he s...
honestly i spent hours defending my friend who i thought was the world's greatest person, calling them a "loyal gem" to anyone who would listen, just to find out they were whispering to a stranger at the coffee shop about how my last haircut made me look like a sad piñata, so now i’m sitting here questioning every time they complimented my personality while i should probably be planning my escape from this circle of betrayal and well-crafted hair jokes but really, how do i even confront them without sounding like the dramatic reality show reject i am, especially when half of me wants to laugh at the piñata comment but the other half is like "you’ve just unwrapped my heart"?
honestly i spent hours defending my friend who i thought was the world's greatest person, calling them a "loyal gem" to anyone who would listen, just to find out they were whispering to a stranger at the coffee shop about how my last haircut made me look like a sad piñata, so now i’m sitting here questioning every time they complimented my personality while i should probably be planning my escape from this circle of betrayal and well-crafted hair jokes but really, how do i even confront them without sounding like the dramatic reality show reject i am, especially when half of me wants to laugh at the piñata comment but the other half is like "you’ve just unwrapped my heart"?
day 13 of pretending i didn’t just hear my boss give credit for MY pitch to the intern who can barely spell “strategic.” the worst part? i sat there nodding like an enthusiastic bobblehead while internally questioning every life choice that led me to this moment... guess it’s time to update my résumé to include “expert at silently seething.”