it's not that i regret turning down that opportunity. it's just that as i watched someone else thrive, i couldn’t help but imagine their success being celebrated with a fancy cake. meanwhile, i'm over here contemplating a frozen burrito for dinner. they get to dance to “Fancy” while i’m in my pajamas practicing my acceptance speech to an audience of houseplants. still not over the fact that they d...
bruh, just typed out a six paragraph essay about my feelings and they replied with a single peach emoji. like, am I being rejected or are we starting an agricultural business? honestly, I can see us thriving together in the produce aisle. #manifestinglove #howdowegethere
just realized i spent an entire summer pretending to be friends with my neighbor who didn’t even know my name — we had intense debates about who would survive a zombie apocalypse, while i was just really plotting how to ask him for a cup of sugar — and he still has no idea we were basically best friends in my head.
just realized i spent an entire summer pretending to be friends with my neighbor who didn’t even know my name — we had intense debates about who would survive a zombie apocalypse, while i was just really plotting how to ask him for a cup of sugar — and he still has no idea we were basically best friends in my head.
wait, so I just realized that when they said “I love you,” I panicked and said “thank you” like I was accepting a compliment about my casserole, which I definitely did not make and, oh my god, what kind of psychological gymnastics am I doing where I think love is a culinary critique?