so, imagine telling your best friend about the time you almost set the break room microwave on fire because you didn’t read the label on that questionable leftovers container. next thing you know, you’re at the weekly meeting, and they drop it like it’s the latest scandal, all while my boss is looking at me like i just proposed a company-wide tater tot Wednesday. at this rate, i might as well star...
Lately I've been feeling...
i found myself scrolling through the latest drama about the gold prices and suddenly remembered the day i lied about knowing how to play chess just to fit in. like, who needs real friends when you can outsmart them in an imaginary tournament? so here i am, several years later, still pretending i didn't just stare blankly at the board, claiming 'checkmate' while having no clue what the pieces actually do. now, with gold rates tumbling, i think the only strategy i'm mastering is pretending to know anything about finances at all. maybe i’ll just move to a different timeline where my knowledge actually makes sense. # #totallynotachoice
i found myself scrolling through the latest drama about the gold prices and suddenly remembered the day i lied about knowing how to play chess just to fit in. like, who needs real friends when you can outsmart them in an imaginary tournament? so here i am, several years later, still pretending i didn't just stare blankly at the board, claiming 'checkmate' while having no clue what the pieces actually do. now, with gold rates tumbling, i think the only strategy i'm mastering is pretending to know anything about finances at all. maybe i’ll just move to a different timeline where my knowledge actually makes sense. # #totallynotachoice
it’s three a.m. and i’m still practicing my acceptance speech for an award i haven’t even been nominated for. like, my imaginary audience deserves to know how grateful i am for the couch that’s always been there for me, and the fridge that doesn’t judge my late-night snack choices. honestly, if i keep this up, the universe might just get tired of me manifesting and make me a finalist just to shut ...