just realized that i dedicated an entire weekend to learning how to make a perfect egyptian koshari while my love life is about as exciting as watching paint dry. so there i was, slaving over a hot stove, infusing lentils with passion and more cumin than a person should ever admit to using, all to impress someone who hasn’t texted back since last month. the way i pour my soul into carbs is really ...
day 21 of silently plotting my escape from the office after my coworker forwarded my meme about office snacks to the whole team. my deeply personal humor, now a corporate spectacle. it's only a matter of time before HR asks if my emotional support guacamole is included in the team budget. what is the point of life if my avocado dip is being scrutinized in a meeting?
last night, I was deep cleaning my apartment, inspired by Davante Adams dominating on the field. thought about how if my coworker had the same hustle, they wouldn't be my boss now, acting like they know everything. then I found their resume, literally stuffed behind my couch, covered in dust. it literally had more typos than my high school papers, and now they run the whole team. #DavanteAdams #officepolitics
last night, I was deep cleaning my apartment, inspired by Davante Adams dominating on the field. thought about how if my coworker had the same hustle, they wouldn't be my boss now, acting like they know everything. then I found their resume, literally stuffed behind my couch, covered in dust. it literally had more typos than my high school papers, and now they run the whole team. #DavanteAdams #officepolitics
i used to think being prepared was the key to life. like, i have a funeral outfit ready, just in case. packed it when i moved to a new city for someone who left three months later. the irony? now i might have to attend my own funeral over missed opportunities while crying over a million embarrassing dating apps. #Syria #PreparedNotScared