last night, I decided to voice text my grocery list while deep in thought—bananas, bread, cereal. then suddenly my mind wandered, and I muttered out loud, “I should just give it all up and live in a hut, growing my own vegetables. why do I even need friends? a squirrel would be a better listener.” now I have no idea what I actually sent, but I'm just hoping no one in my contact list suddenly has c...
i just found out my toxic coworker got promoted and now they are my boss. they celebrated by sending an email about "team spirit" while i hid in the break room watching motivational cat videos. maybe i will manifest a miracle or a new job, whichever comes first. i just really hope my plants survive until then. # workplacevibes #
it's not that i'm bothered about the ufl schedule or anything, it’s just that I finally found the courage to share my dream of becoming a sports commentator. then i overheard my best friend making fun of me to someone else. honestly, i was just going to practice my commentary while re-watching old games. now i’m sitting here with my stuffed bear, creating commentary for it eating popcorn while contemplating my entire existence. I mean, i’ll have my audience someday...right? #Ufl #dreambig
it's not that i'm bothered about the ufl schedule or anything, it’s just that I finally found the courage to share my dream of becoming a sports commentator. then i overheard my best friend making fun of me to someone else. honestly, i was just going to practice my commentary while re-watching old games. now i’m sitting here with my stuffed bear, creating commentary for it eating popcorn while contemplating my entire existence. I mean, i’ll have my audience someday...right? #Ufl #dreambig
wait, so I was daydreaming about the Winter Olympics in two thousand twenty-six. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see elite athletes flying through the air while I’m stuck scrolling through another corporate email that will mean nothing in a week? got the email that my company is ‘realigning priorities’—that’s corporate lingo for ‘you’re getting replaced by a six-month intern’. at least I can pretend ...