no because my whole life, i thought building a robot farm was cool until i realized it was my dad’s mid-life crisis disguised as my career path. now i'm the weird adult with a robotic chicken named cluck-stein, living my parents' dreams while they just wanted to show me off at BBQs.
no because I just spent an hour crafting the perfect “we need to talk” text. I typed it on my phone, switched to my laptop, made a presentation, and still just got back “ok.” — like, did I really just spend my prime hyper-fixation time discussing our emotional unraveling just for you to respond like a Netflix autoplay? now I am considering taking up bird watching as my new hobby — at least they re...
so, i love someone who makes me feel like a side character in a play nobody is watching. why is it that when they speak, i hear my own insecurities in surround sound? maybe it's because their idea of a “big date” is a dinner for two where they hog the spotlight, and i just stand there like a potted plant—very much alive but completely ignored. is it wrong to wish i could outshine them at a boring trivia night with absolutely no relevant knowledge? can someone explain why i'm rooting for the dramatic exit while only practicing it in my mirror?
so, i love someone who makes me feel like a side character in a play nobody is watching. why is it that when they speak, i hear my own insecurities in surround sound? maybe it's because their idea of a “big date” is a dinner for two where they hog the spotlight, and i just stand there like a potted plant—very much alive but completely ignored. is it wrong to wish i could outshine them at a boring trivia night with absolutely no relevant knowledge? can someone explain why i'm rooting for the dramatic exit while only practicing it in my mirror?
i just realized i completely forgot to return that bizarre library book about the history of garden gnomes that i borrowed three months ago. like, do i sneak it back in with a disguise, or just admit to being the biggest gnome criminal ever? what if they have a whole file on me, and it gets sent to the local news or…