last night, I finally decided to forgive my neighbor for stealing my garden gnome. I even put a friendly note on their door. But honestly? I’ll never trust them again, especially now that I realize they were probably just scouting my yard for other garden ornaments to pilfer. I mean, they could be the next sherfane rutherford of backyard heists, and I'm just waiting for the day they run off with m...
last night, i caught myself staring at a half-eaten pickle in my fridge, like it held the secrets of the universe. as i contemplated its life choices, it hit me: maybe i am the difficult one. i mean, who else obsessively debates the worth of a condiment at one a.m.? then it dawned on me that the pickle was just waiting to be thrown out. turns out, we both needed to let go of each other.
not gonna lie, i told my friend about my secret love for creating handmade puppets, thinking it was just a quirky little passion. now it’s basically the weirdest gossip in town, and i have to dodge questions at parties like they are suddenly an audition for a Broadway show. last week, someone even asked me if i had a puppet for their therapy sessions. like, am i a skilled artisan or a bizarre life coach?
not gonna lie, i told my friend about my secret love for creating handmade puppets, thinking it was just a quirky little passion. now it’s basically the weirdest gossip in town, and i have to dodge questions at parties like they are suddenly an audition for a Broadway show. last week, someone even asked me if i had a puppet for their therapy sessions. like, am i a skilled artisan or a bizarre life coach?
not gonna lie, I moved to a new city thinking I would find my soulmate. I packed my entire life into boxes like I was some kind of romantic hero. three months in, they ghosted me and I was left alone with fifty-two decorative mugs. yes, fifty-two. turns out, that was way too many mugs for one heartbroken person.